The Internet Wars!
by ThreeInOne
Summary: Sequel to Decepticons Gone Wild/Autobots Party. The Internet Wars are in full swing. It's Autobots vs Decepticons vs a lone character in their attempts to smear each other through random and wild pranking. Who will win? Who will lose? Where are the Lambo twins when you need them? Find out in the INTERNET WARS! Rated T for violence, Cybertronian cursing, and lots of dead Vehicons.
1. Crazy Little Thing Called Love

**((Hello everyone. So, I'm currently on a writer's block concerning my story _Red and Blue KickAft_, and so I thought I'd take the time to write up the sequel to Decepticons Gone Wild! and Autobot Party, more formally known as the INTERNET WARS! *lightning strikes, laughs evilly*. So, the Internet Wars are going to be a bunch of one-shots concerning the crazy antics the Autobots and Decepticons are going to partake in. Oh, and there will be a player that is neither 'Bot nor 'Con, who's identity will be revealed shortly. The one-shots will generally take place a day or so after the last one and will reference events that happened in the previous one, so I'd suggest reading them in the order I write them. If you want a definite scope of the time, it takes place after Toxicity, but Airachnid is still a Decepticon and Breakdown's not dead. I will be keeping score of who gets a point for their prank also.**

_**DISCLAIMER:**_**I do not own Transformers Prime or any other material in here that may be referenced but is not mine))**

**CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE**

**July 29th, 2012**

It was turning out to be a normal day on the Nemesis. Well, normal if you didn't consider Airachnid, in a fit of tempermental rage, tossing three unlucky Vehicons out of the ship after ripping out their T-cogs abnormal. Breakdown had managed to reign her in after that little showing, explaining that it was 'hormones' and 'because of the pregnancy'. All of the Vehicons were stunned enough to leave her alone for the rest of the day, and all shuddered at the thought of a sparkling with Breakdown's strength and Airachnid's attitude. Of course something came along that quickly dwarfed that incident. Something much worse.

Soundwave had been attending to his regular duties, mainly uploading and scanning for important information, when Megatron strode in, servos clasped behind his back as he tended to do. Soundwave gave a brief nod to signify he'd noted his leader's appearance. He didn't give anything a second thought, even when the humming Megatron was doing finally met his audios. He turned slightly to see his leader standing at the controls, rocking back and forth on his heels and still humming. It was an odd sight but the TIC had honestly seen weirder.

"Soundwave," Although, when his leader spoke, 'Wave did blink under his visor. Megatron, instead of his gravelly Frank Welker-ish voice, sounded like, to put it in human terms, the dog Alpha from the movie _Up. _"We've known each other for a long time, wouldn't you say?"

Soundwave, being the normally solemn and silent bot he was, bit back a laugh and nodded.

"It's been, what, a few thousand years, more? I think it's finally time I tell you the truth."

Soundwave's audios perked up at this. Truth about what?

It was as if Megatron honed in on his silent question. He turned to the TIC with a slight smile. "I am in love with you."

The record scratch noise that Soundwave emitted had come from his late nights of channel surfing. His optics widened and he shuffled his pedes uncomfortably. Megatron didn't have to have him speak to know what he was thinking.

"Yes, I know, it must be a shock for you," Megatron strode up to him bravely and hugged Soundwave, long and hard. "It was hard on me for a while. But I've accepted it, Soundy baby. And I know you will too." His look was full of love. "Just admit it: we are a perfect match."

Soundwave backed up sharply, pedes clacking against the floor. Laserbeak shook on his chest in irritation and Megatron advanced with a stupid look on his face. Soundwave had two options: run or face his obviously deranged leader. He chose the former and raced out of the bridge like he was on fire, startling Knock Out who was just coming into the bridge to talk to Megatron.

"Lord Megatron?" he noted his leader's appearance. "What is wrong?"

"Knock Out I require your assistance," Megatron said quickly; Soundwave was getting away.

Knock Out, not being as disciplined as Soundwave, actually did laugh. "L-Lord Megatron, your v-voice!" His laughter diminished, however, when Megatron grabbed him by his throat and held him menacingly.

"Do not laugh or I'll tear out your audials and see how you like it," Megatron growled. "I said I need your assistance."

"Of course," Knock Out knew when to shut up. "What do you need?"

"Transform," Megatron dropped him and Knock Out did so. That was when Megatron jumped onto Knock Out's back and held on tightly, hands crushing the roof, spikes scratching the paint job.

"My paint!" Knock Out wailed dramatically.

"After him!" Megatron ordered and with a squeal of his tires, the two shot forward, swerving through a crowd of Vehicons who just stared. They turned a corner, clipped a wall, and kept on in pursuit of Soundwave.

~.~.~.~.~.

"Honey, you've got to calm down," Breakdown told Airachnid reassuringly. The two were walking out of the medbay, where Knock Out had told them to wait, and Airachnid had decided to the Pit with waiting. "I know you're upset but Lord Megatron's gonna get upset if you keep taking out your anger out on the drones."

"It's this little brat inside of me," Airachnid managed a glare at her midsection. "It won't stop squirming. When I get my hands on Steve, he'll wish he'd never been sparked."

That was when Soundwave turned a corner and ran, in an all-out sprint, toward an exit. He swerved around Airachnid, slid under Breakdown, and kept going.

"What was that about?" Breakdown stared. A honking of horns answered their question really quickly. Knock Out, in vehicle mode, came around the same corner that Soundwave had, Megatron riding him like a steed. He slowed to a stop when he reached the two, who both stared in confusion.

"Get on!" Megatron said gruffly. "Let's go! We don't have all day!"

"I'm not a bus!" Knock Out protested, flinching under the weight of both Breakdown and Airachnid. He still managed to continue driving and kept on in hot pursuit of Soundwave.

"So, uh, what's going on?" Breakdown scratched his head.

"Better yet, what has Soundwave done?" Airachnid clarified. "And what happened to your voice?"

"I like my voice!" Megatron snapped. "And Soundy has refused my love. He must be mine! Airachnid, use your webbing to ensnare him!"

Airachnid shrugged. All she could do was go with it.

~.~.~.~.~.

Dreadwing had just finished disemboweling a Vehicon in the training room and was walking out when the oddest sight met his optics. Soundwave ran by, pursued by Megatron, Breakdown, and Airachnid, who had all climbed on top of Knock Out's alt mode, who was whimpering softly to himself and threatening to topple. Soundwave released Laserbeak only to have Megatron blast it out of the sky with his fusion cannon and for Airachnid to trip Soundwave. The TIC plummeted to the ground facefirst and Megatron leaped off of Knock Out, landing on top of Soundwave. The communications officer had time to struggle before Megatron hugged him tightly and, worse, started kissing him.

Dreadwing took in the sight for a minute or two, then returned to the training room. It was the only sane place to be.

~.~.~.~.~.

"Here's the problem," Knock Out frowned.

He, Airachnid, Breakdown, and Megatron had returned to the medbay, where KO sedated Megatron and took a crack at examining his central processor. Carefully plucking something out with tweezers, he pulled out a chip. It was small, discreet, and had a black symbol on it that looked oddly like a familiar face.

"Starscream," Airachnid identified it first. "Why am I not surprised that backstabbing traitor would do this?"

"Looks like it was reprogramming him to become attracted to a familiar face; in this case, Soundwave. The voice was also caused by this. With it's removal, he should return to his normal self in a few hours."

"_Good_," Soundwave stalked out of the shadows, visor still in place, although it was cracked a bit. "_Once Lord Megatron is back to normal, we can begin to enact revenge_ _against Starscream for this intolerable crime he has committed._" For those who had never heard 'Wave speak, his voice was eerie: it was heavily computerized and, under that, sounded just like Megatron from Transformers Animated. "_He shall feel my wrath and never dare to cross any Decepticon ever again._"

Megatron slowly regained consciousness, sitting up and groaning in his normal voice. "Lord Megatron," Knock Out was quickly to his side. "How do you feel?"

Megatron looked up at him and grinned, an innocent look in his optics. "Daddy?" the one word was enough to instill in the minds of the Decepticons just how screwed they really were.

~.~.~.~.~.

Starscream, at the _Harbinger_, had to smirk.

It had been all too easy to implant the reprogram chip in Megatron upon their last encounter, as the big lug never saw it coming. It had already been removed, he guessed, and it's secondary function of reducing Megatron's mind to that of a sparkling's had already been started. For once, he was glad of all those years he spent learning about computers and technology with Skywarp; they were finally paying off.

He may not have been part of the first of the Internet War, but, by all means, he was willing to start it.

**Autobots: N/A**

**Decepticons: 0**

**Starscream: 1**

**((So there you have it, folks! It's the Autobots vs the Decepticons vs Starscream. Who will win? Who will lose? Who will run crying to their creators before it's over? Heck if I know, I'm making it up as I go along. I am accepting plot submissions of ideas to come and especially name/appearance submissions for Airachnid and Breakdown's kid. It will be femme, you can be assured of that. And this will not turn into a slash fic.**

**R and R.))**


	2. Child's Play

**((I was so surprised by the amount of reviews I got for the last chapter. I especially like the suggestions for Airachnid and Breakdown's kid. I already have a favorite, but I'm not telling. Not yet. Don't worry, the Autobots will show up soon, in the next chapter actually. I hope you all enjoy this one.**

_**DISCLAIMER:**_**What I said last chapter.))**

**CHILD'S PLAY**

**July 29th, 2012**

As expected, things did not go well with the other Decepticons when they saw their leader as he was.

"We should rip Starscream's head off!" One Vehicon shouted and several others chorused their agreement. Airachnid had stomped off to fume, Breakdown following, so it was only Knock Out and Dreadwing facing the entire Decepticon army. Worse, Megatron found himself perfectly content to lay on his stomach on the ground and chew on one of Knock Out's wheels.

"Killing that traitor is a pleasurable thought," Dreadwing agreed. "But with our leader, err, crippled, we should be more worried about restoring him to his former glory. Starscream's death can be postponed for another day." Dreadwing leaned in to hiss to Knock Out, "Can't you do anything to fix him?"

"Not without five hours of study, I can't," Knock Out hissed right back.

"Momma!" Megatron grew bored of chewing rubber and instead tackled Dreadwing, who didn't try to fight him off. "Will you tell me a story?"

Dreadwing could only stare at the optics that were wide in fascination and listen to the snickers. "Um, uh, Lord Megatron," Knock Out moved to get his leader off their SIC.

"Megsy," Megatron insisted.

"Right, _Megsy,_" Knock Out corrected. "Momma is, uhm, busy right now. She-He-" Knock Out said quickly at Dreadwing's withering look. "-doesn't have time to tell you a story."

Megatron burst into tears which made several Vehicons whisper to themselves. "Why won't Momma tell me story?" His tantrum of pounding his hands on the floor somehow activated his fusion cannon, which cleared out a path of an impressive 15 Vehicons and left 5 of them for scrap.

"Okay, okay, I'll tell you a story," Knock Out offered quickly, if only to prevent their leader from (accidentally) killing off more of his soldiers.

"Yay," Megatron stopped his complaints almost instantly. "What it about? Ooh, can it be about fairies? Or horsies? Or pink fairy-horsies?"

The snickers were growing louder. Knock Out looked back at the Vehicons sharply, which only made their laughter louder. He cleared his throat. "Once upon a time, there was a land known as, err, Pink-Fairy-Horsie-Landia-Thingy. And there lived in the land the most beautiful pink-fairy-horsie of all. And his name was Megatron." He tried to ignore the laughter. "Now Megatron was leader of all the pink-fairy-horsies, a wise and strong leader. A leader who helped them to control all of Pink-Fairy-Horsie-Landia-Thingy. But, unknown to him, an evil force was lurking." Megatron gasped at this. "An evil blue-dragon-zebra entered their land. And his name was Optimus Prime." Dreadwing's look was almost as troubling as the laughter. "Now Optimus Prime and his band of blue-dragon-zebras wanted to take over Pink-Fairy-Horsie-Landia-Thingy and defeat Megatron. But Megatron valiantly gathered his forces and prepared to battle the evil group. They rode out at dawn-" the laughter was now becoming defeaning and even Dreadwing was shaking his head.

"QUIET!" Megatron roared, leaping to his pedes and firing aimlessly into the crowd, taking out another 6 Vehicons and wounding countless more. "I CAN'T HEAR THE STORY!" Then he flopped back down and smiled sweetly. "You were saying?"

"SoMegatronand-hisforcesdefeated-Optimusforevertheend," Knock Out blurted out the ending. He stood up, marching off and giving Dreadwing a glare. "There, I covered your aft," the medic's tone was threatening. "Now you cover mine. Watch him while I go hide in shame." He left the bridge, passing Soundwave, who applauded sarcastically. Knock Out hissed at him.

"So I spend time with Momma?" Megatron's gaze turned to Dreadwing. "What do we do now Momma? Can we go play? Huh, huh? Can we?"

"Sure," Dreadwing nodded, a little weirded out. "What would you like to play?"

"Oh I have a special game, Momma. Follow me!" Megatron skipped out, past a watching Soundwave. Dreadwing sighed and followed.

His leader led him to the rarely-used war room, which had been abandoned after millenia in favor of plotting on the bridge. Even better was when Megatron pulled out a dusty box full of dolls.

Actually dolls wasn't the right word. It looked like miniature replicas of both the Decepticons and the Autobots, which would've been used in simulations to scout out how the enemy would move and what tactics to use. Dreadwing recognized Optimus Prime, Arcee, Bulkhead, Bumblebee, Ratchet, and even Cliffjumper, whom, according to his intel, had long since been dead. He didn't see himself on the Decepticon side but rather Megatron, Starscream, Soundwave, Knock Out, and Breakdown. Megatron picked up the Starscream figurine and flew it around.

"They're cool, aren't they, Momma?" Megatron made Starscream slam into a wall repetitively. "I found 'em in this room a while back. They're my friends."

"Right," Dreadwing picked one up and examined it.

"Fwoosh, fwoosh! Boom!" Megatron imitated gunfire and explosions. He had the Autobots facing the Decepticons on the floor and was imitating attacks while bashing them together. "'Surrender, Megatron!' 'Never, Optimus Prime! You will not beat me and my mighty Decepticon army!' 'Oh yeah? Take that! And that!'" Megatron made Optimus hit his figurine and the two clashed, before Optimus 'beheaded' 'Megatron'. "Yay! Optimus wins! The Earth is saved!" Megatron did a little dance with the Optimus Prime figure.

Dreadwing merely stared. "My lord, where did you get those ideas?"

"Megsy," Megatron corrected. "And it's in the theme song."

"Theme...song?" This actually did fascinate Dreadwing.

"You know. _Transformers! More than meets the eye. Autobots wage their battles to destroy the evil forces of the Decepticons! Transformers! Robots in Disguise! The Transformers! _That theme song. I like it. I sure wouldn't wanna be that bad ol' Megatron when Optimus gets his hands on him."

Dreadwing blinked, honestly confused. At first, it seemed like Megatron knew who he was, that he was a Decepticon. Now he was acting like he was an Autobot and he didn't know who he was. Either he was getting worse or he was trying to mess with Dreadwing. Or both. It wasn't his place to question it, really.

A Vehicon came into the room. "Commander Dreadwing," he sketched off a salute. "The Autobots have seized one of our Energon mines. Our forces are severely outnumbered."

Dreadwing turned to look at Megatron, who was chewing on Starscream and making Arcee and Cliffjumper dance. "I will take a squadron out of there. You. You will watch Lord Megatron. Make sure he does not get out of your sight."

"Yes sir," the Vehicon nodded. Dreadwing brushed past him, leaving the Vehicon to stare at his leader. "So, uh, what do you want to do?"

"Let's play dress up!" Megatron beamed and dragged the unwilling Vehicon away.

~.~.~.~.~.

Dreadwing was the only one to return to the ship with leaking Energon. He gritted his dentas in frustration. Blasted Autobots! It always seemed like, no matter how many troops he took with him, he was always defeated. And he didn't know why.

He had bigger problems though. Once he'd landed and transformed, a Vehicon ran up to him. The Vehicon was missing an arm and had a cracked optic, along with pink smears all over him.

"I'm sorry, sir," he panted. "But he got away from me when I was trying to get the dress off."

"Dress?" Dreadwing raised an eyebrow. "Where is he now?"

"Bridge. He's-well, you'd just have to see for yourself."

Dreadwing made his way to the bridge where he saw a most horrid sight indeed. It looked like someone had flown through with a fetish for painting: the walls were covered in blue, pink, and orange paint, as well as stripes of green and splotches of red. Soundwave stood over to the side, his visor having had someone paint a yellow smiley face on it, one tentacle snapped in half. He was muttering curses under his breath.

And in the middle of the room sat Megatron. He had buckets of paint all around him and had painted himself into a rainbow, chewing on a Vehicon's arm while doodling a crude picture of a fairy-horsie princess on the floor. "_Rainbow kitty that lives in the stars and brings me chocolate from the moon!_" he sang merrily. "_With a golden claw and a silver claw and diamond eyes too. _Nyan Cat!"

"My Primus," Dreadwing swore aloud, gaping. Soundwave shot him as best a glare as he could.

"Momma," Megatron noted his SIC's arrival. "Hi Momma. Like what I did? I made everything pretty." He then threw a bucket of paint at Dreadwing, covering him in green and red paint. "Now you're pretty, Momma. Like a thousand tiny fireflies in the sky." Then he pouted. "You like it, don't you, Momma? Daddy didn't like it."

"The horror," Knock Out, with glazed optics, stumbled in. He was now a wonderful mixture of pink and red. "The horror. Too much pink. Pink everywhere." He looked at Dreadwing. "Run. Or he'll paint you too. The horror. The pink." He stumbled back out muttering inaudible warnings.

"Please tell me someone has a way to fix this," Dreadwing groaned. "Or are close to anyway."

"I love you Optimus Prime!" Megatron blurted out before falling to the ground and sobbing. "I'm sorry! I never meant to hurt you!"

Soundwave swung on his pedes to face his leader. He nodded to Dreadwing before sending out his (still working) tentacles to latch onto the side of Megatron's head. The Decepticon leader froze as the tentacles pulsed, reverting the programming. Then the leader slumped down.

"_He'll be unconscious for some time,_" Soundwave told him. "_Long enough for you and the others to fix this mess._"

"And you couldn't have done that _earlier?_" Dreadwing asked the question we're all thinking. Soundwave shrugged.

Megatron chose to contradict 'Wave's words, waking up at that exact moment. "What on Cybertron-" he stood up. "What happened?" Then he noticed Soundwave, Dreadwing, and the ship. "What happened to my ship? Dreadwing, who did this?"

"Uh," Dreadwing looked at Soundwave. "A sparkling, my leige. One of the Vehicons had a virus, called himself Megsy. Soundwave purged it but not before he did this to the ship."

"Very well," Megatron's tone was dangerous; he'd seen his own paint job. "Where is this 'Megsy' now?"

The Vehicon Dreadwing had assigned to watch Megatron in the first place chose that moment to come in and Dreadwing pointed. "There he is, my leige."

"Good," Megatron smiled a toothy grin. He advanced on the Vehicon. "I wish to have a word with you." He raised his fusion cannon.

"No, Lord Megatron!" the Vehicon protested. "It wasn't me! It was-" he didn't have time to protest before Megatron blew his head off.

"Clean up this mess," the Decepticon leader ordered. "I need to go talk to Knock Out."

Once he'd left, Dreadwing looked at Soundwave. "We never speak of this to anyone ever again, agreed?" Soundwave nodded quickly.

Dreadwing left to get something to get the paint stains off and Soundwave turned to his computer. With quick and fluid strokes he logged onto the main Decepticon YouTube account, **DecepticonsRule!**, and watched with twisted glee as a selected video was uploaded.

A video starring Starscream. A video no one was ever to see.

Soundwave would have the last laugh after all.

**Autobots: N/A**

**Decepticons: 0**

**Starscream: 2**

**((Did anyone get the Skyquake reference? I've got to tell you, I love sparkling-minded Megatron, the little scamp. I also love Decepticon torture, especially Knock Out torture, as the conceited mech's got it coming. Devious Soundwave is another favorite of mine. He'll show up a lot, since he's a main character. Please continue to submit plot ideas/sparkling ideas and I'll get to them. Next up: what is the video concerning Starscream all about? What's his secret?**

**Keep the R's coming people.))**


	3. I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore

**((I loved the plot suggestions I received. It makes me feel like a thousand tiny unicorns have crawled inside my body and died...what? I stand by that metaphor. If you want to know, this chapter could be considered slash, but there's nothing explicit. Let's face it: Starscream, with his girly legs and high heels (have you seen the size of those things? It's like he's wearing a pair of stilettos) is just asking to be mocked. For those of you who are diehard Starscream fans, he'll get his revenge soon enough.**

_**DISCLAIMER:**_**I do not own Transformers Prime, the song title, or the song itself which is included. I also don't own the Hunger Games, which I know isn't on DVD yet, but I wish it was.))**

**I CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING ANYMORE**

**July 29th, 2012**

The Autobots were having a good day.

Not only had they claimed a new source of Energon from the Decepticons but they had thoroughly trashed Dreadwing and his forces and had come back in time to watch that new Hunger Games video Miko had rented. Everything was going great. Until it happened. Halfway into the movie, the monitor beeped.

"Aw man," Miko griped in unison with Bulkhead and the other two kids. Arcee hadn't really been enjoying it, as she related it too much to Airachnid. Bumblebee didn't like the thought of kids Raf's age fighting for their lives and would flinch away at any violence. Ratchet found it to be bloodsport and Optimus...was being Optimus. "We're missing the best parts."

"It's an upload," Ratchet checked it out, pausing the video and pulling up YouTube. "The Decepticons have put a video on the Internet."

"So?" Jack asked. "Maybe it's nothing."

"Or it could be a Decepticon trick," Arcee pointed out.

"Who cares? Turn the movie back on," Bulkhead complained.

"Ratchet, roll the footage," Optimus ordered. "We'll see what the Decepticons have so urgently to put up."

The video played. It showed a storage room. There was the brush of a door opening and Starscream came in, glancing around warily.

"What's 'Scream doing?" Bulkhead asked as the former Con walked toward a shelf. "What's he got to hide?"

Starscream looked around again before pulling something out from behind the bookshelf. He propped it against the wall and everyone could see it was a cardboard cut out of Megatron, sword out, fusion cannon raised.

Bumblebee buzzed something. "I'm with you, 'Bee," Raf agreed. "That is a little creepy. Does Starscream practice to kill Megatron or something?"

Starscream cleared his throat. "Here goes," he muttered to himself. "No need to rush this. I can take my time. He's not going anywhere after all." The Seeker seemed to be warming up. Then he turned with a smirk on his face. "Finally, Megatron, the confrontation I've been expecting! You think you're so high and mighty. 'Look at me, I'm Megatron. I can fight Optimus Prime and not succumb to the curse that plagues so many others. I think I'm _so _special.' Well I've got news for you." He stalked up to Megatron, raising a hand. "You are."

"What?" Ratchet said aloud.

Starscream had a weird look in his eyes as his hand brushed Megatron's cheek. "_I can't fight this feeling any longer,_" he started to sing. "_And yet I'm still afraid to let it show. What started out as friendship has grown stronger. I only wish I had the strength to_ _let it show._" He backed away dramatically. "_I tell myself that I can't hold out forever. I say there is no reason for my fear. But I feel so secure when we're together. You give my life direction, you make everything so clear._" Starscream boldly approached the Megatron cut out, gesticulating wildly as was his nature. "_And even as I wander, I'm keeping you in sight. You're a candle in the window on a cold dark winter's night. And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might._" By now Starscream's voice had risen. "_I can't fight this feeling anymore! I've forgotten what I started fighting for. It's time to take this ship into the shore, throw away the oars forever. Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore. I've forgotten what I started fighting for. And if I had to crawl upon the shore, come crashing through your door, cause baby I can't fight this feeling anymore._" Starscream latched onto the cardboard Megatron, hugging and kissing him passionately.

"Commander Starscream?" a Vehicon stuck his head in. "Lord Megatron was requesting your...appearance?"

Starscream yelped and jumped off the cardboard, sending it falling to the floor with a thud. "What are you doing here?" he growled at the Vehicon. "Can't you knock? Get out! And if you ever tell anyone about this, I'll melt you down for scrap metal!"

The Vehicon left quickly and Starscream picked the cut out up. "I'll be back, baby. I've got to go see you." He planted a kiss on the cut out's cheek and tucked it back behind the shelf, before leaving. And the video ended.

There was complete silence. Everyone was gaping, staring.

"This...explains so much," Arcee finally said.

"I always thought those heels made him look a little-" Bulkhead couldn't find the right word. Bumblebee's optics had grown even wider and Ratchet was merely speechless.

Optimus, however, decided to pull a Prowl on us and immediately crashed. The Autobots had to drag him to the medbay where Ratchet assured them he was perfectly okay. It was just a minor thing. Once he'd returned to work, however, he immediately deleted the video from their harddrive and blocked the video from reaching their systems from YouTube.

Better safe than sorry.

~.~.~.~.~.

Starscream gritted his dentas and slammed his fist down on the computer console. How dare Soundwave use that footage, obviously twisting it out of context. He'd done no such thing before. Well, maybe once or twice. But certainly not 15 times in a row. He didn't have that big of a crush on Megatron.

"You want to bring up past skirmishes, Soundwave?" Starscream sorted through his files, picking out a familiar one. "Try this on for size." He went onto his own YouTube account, **StarscreamLover**, to upload it. "That should teach you to mess with me."

**Autobots: -1 (penalty for Optimus fainting like a little girl)**

**Decepticons (S****oundwave): 1 million points! I'm kidding, I'm kidding, 1.**

**Starscream: 2**

**((Oh no! What had Starscream uploaded? Find out the shocking truth about Soundwave next chapter!**

**To be honest, I love this chapter the most, especially Arcee's 'This explains so much' line. Optimus fainting wasn't originally going to stay but I liked it too much, so it stayed. And 'Screamer really wasn't helping his argument with his thoughts about not doing it fifteen times. I'm evil, aren't I? :)**

**Please keep the ideas coming and I'll get to them if I can.))**


	4. The Mech Behind The Mask

**((I loved all the reviews I got, especially the plot ideas I received and the character submissions. Don't worry, I'll get the plot ideas eventually, but I've already got like 7 chapters finished already so it'll take a bit. I'm about to start on the one with Airachnid's kid so if you want to submit an idea, better do it now. Now I know this idea concerning Soundwave is nothing new but I kind of enjoyed incorporating it into the story. Oh, and if you're wondering, I've got an actual plot line to this story unfolding in later chapters, and characters are included that aren't in the Prime verse.**

_**DISCLAIMER:**_**Okay, so I don't own any Transformers Prime material, songs, names, books, references, or things of any kind that belong to other people. Can this be the end of the disclaimer? This applies to all chapters from here on out.))**

**THE MECH BEHIND THE MASK**

**July 29th, 2012**

It wasn't long before, as expected, Starscream went for retaliation against Soundwave and the Decepticons in general. Megatron had managed to clean up most of the paint and Soundwave had cleaned off his visor (in private of course) when a notice came up on the computer. Soundwave opened it up only for them to be facing down Starscream.

"Starscream," Megatron snarled.

"Hello Decepticons, Megatron," Starscream sounded positively sinister. "I know Megatron has no doubt been cursing my name for the little...makeover I did. For your information, however, this is a pre-recording so, as much as I'd like to gloat about your folly in person, I have to decline the idea. I'm calling this payback for Soundwave spreading my embarrassing video all over the Internet. And before you try anything, you simply have to see the ending. I assure you, it will surprise you. Enjoy." Starscream winked out of existence only for a video to start playing. It showed Soundwave's berthroom, said intelligence officer stalking in.

"_Stupid no good Wheeljack cracking my visor,_" he muttered to himself, sitting down on the berth. "_Honestly, if it weren't for the_ _fact that Laserbeak had been released I would've butchered him right then and there. Slagging little fragger escaped my grasp. And now that bumbling egotistical self-conceited Knock Out has to fix my visor. MY visor. I'm perfectly capable of doing that __on my own. Who does Megatron think he's kidding?_" Video-Soundwave punched a wall in dissatisfaction. "_Megatron. Sometimes __he gets on my last fragging nerve. We're already low enough on troops as it is and he sends Knock Out, Dreadwing, and I to __recover the relics but he can't do any work himself? Maybe if he'd have gone instead of that glitch-head Hardshell and his vermin __troops we'd have the Tox-En in our possession as well. But nooo, he's always got to be so fragging better than all of us. Mechs. __What is it with them and their egos?_"

Soundwave could only watch helplessly, dodging the glares given, as Video-Soundwave's hands went to his visor. There was a hiss and it was unclipped, the smooth reflective glass being set on the berth. And everyone stared.

Video-Soundwave had a slanting face, thin eyebrows that were almost nonexistence, wide magenta optics, and delicate lips. He, from the looks of it, was definitely not a he. "Why am I always underappreciated?" she continued. "I have to be the only 'bot on here who actually does their job and enjoys it. I like computer work. But do I ever get liked for it? No. Does anyone ever compliment me for it? No. Lord Megatron does, every once in a while, but I feel that's only to make sure I stay in line. It'd be even more hectic if they knew I was a femme." She picked up the visor. "That's why I go to such great pains to pretend I'm a mech. Knowing Knock Out, he'd start hitting on me right away. Better that Airachnid stays the only femme on this ship." There was a slight beeping on Video-Soundwave's communicator and she put the visor back on, making sure it was locked. "_Yes, Lord Megatron?_" the voice scrambler made it impossible to identify the soft, whispery voice she'd used a moment ago.

"Soundwave, report to the medbay," Megatron ordered. "I want you to work on clearing a bug from the system while Knock Out fixes your visor."

"_Of course, Lord Megatron,_" Video-Soundwave gave a slight little bow before sighing and walking out. The video ended.

For once, everyone was stunned. Knock Out was gaping. Dreadwing looked his solemn self. And Megatron's optics had widened in confusion. All three turned to Soundwave.

The femme in disguise was clenching her fists. By her posture it was evident she was very, very, VERY angry.

"Soundwave?" Megatron finally said.

"_Oh, so it's that kind of game, huh?_" Soundwave snarled angrily. "_Starscream wants to mess with me, does he? This will not go __down without a fight._" She turned to her computer, typing rapidly. "_I need backup._" Several Vehicons were sharply whispering to themselves about this, until Soundwave turned on them. "_Well, what are you doing standing there? Get to work! NOW!_" the roar sent all scattering except the main three, Megatron staring dubiously at his TIC in still confusion. Why hadn't he seen this sooner? It was clear in retrospect. But by the way Soundwave was fuming, he knew better than to bring it up. After all, Pit had no fury like a femme scorned.

"Knock Out, go check up on Airachnid and Breakdown," he ordered. The two had been together for a while now and the only reason Megatron hadn't sent Breakdown to get the relic is that Airachnid threatened to disembowel someone if she was left alone. "Dreadwing, gather some fliers and check out the Energon mine we've recently scouted. I will be in the training room if anyone needs me." Everyone gave Soundwave a lot of room.

The TIC connected up to video chat, gritting her dentas.

~.~.~.~.~.

Since Optimus's glitch the day before, Ratchet had been careful to keep the Autobot leader from any more possibly crashing incidents. So when he was working and a blip in the corner of his screen warned him of an incoming video chat, he called everyone in there.

"Who is it, Ratchet?" Optimus asked.

"Optimus," Ratchet warned. The Prime turned around so he wasn't looking at the screen. The face that popped up was unexpected.

"Soundwave?" Ratchet asked. "Why are you calling us?"

"_I need your help,_" the Decepticon said grudgingly. "_I've noticed that_ _Starscream had also plagued you and your group in the past._"

"What of it?" Optimus had turned to look.

"_I'm proposing a temporary alliance for a common goal: to smear that punk Starscream._"

"Megatron wants to work with us?" Arcee said. "He must be desperate."

Soundwave fidgeted. "_He, uh, actually doesn't want to. I alone am wanting this alliance. Starscream has incurred my wrath._"

"How?" Bulkhead asked. "Did he break your computer or something?"

Soundwave glared at him invisibly before ripping the visor off. "He has revealed my secret to the Decepticons," she explained to a stunned group. "Which I figure that Megatron will eventually reveal to you as well. So consider this the heads-up." Bumblebee beeped and whirred. "That's right, I'm a femme," Soundwave affirmed. "Laugh it up. So, are you in?"

Optimus nodded. "We will assist you in defeating Starscream, so long as he is not killed."

Soundwave's smile was as evil as they come. "Who said I wanted to defeat him? I want to _ruin _him. Destroy his reputation. Leave no shadow of a doubt that he is anything but a pansy two-faced cowardly fragger. Then, once that's done, you can destroy him as you feel free." She looked back. "Megatron is coming. I will alert you with my plans for his imminent destruction when I have them ready. Goodbye Autobots." And she hung up.

There was a lot of staring at the blank screen.

"What just happened?" Bulkhead scratched his head.

"I do not know," Optimus shook his head. "But I know one thing for certain: nothing good can come from this alliance."

**Autobots: 0 (Optimus didn't faint, so I'll fix it)**

**Decepticons: 1**

**Starscream: 2**

**((Alright, so Soundwave is a femme. I've always thought with his thin frame, hidden face, it might be possible he's really a girl. So, for the sake of this version, s/he's going to stay a girl. However, Ravage, Laserbeak, Rumble, and Frenzy are all guys so...make of that what you will.**

**I figured I should officially include the Autobots in the war and this was the only way I could think to do it. Don't worry, Soundy and the 'Cons won't go easy on them, even if she is their ally. And they get one in on the Decepticons in the next chapter. Which will be hilarious.))**


End file.
